Melodies and Memories
by Wings.of.Velvet
Summary: Tamaki recalls his childhood days with his mother and the bittersweet music they used to share."The three songs had been played, the memories flowing back with the melodies, and, as always, Tamaki was a mess." R&R please,is better than it sounds! One-shot


**Disclaimer: If I owned Ouran, we'd have seen Tamaki as a baby ****far**** more often. **

**Please read and review, I'd appreciate it!! :D I hope you enjoy seeing Tamaki in all his glory!!! BTW, I had considered calling this: 'Happy, Proud, Hurt' but decided against it, I like Melodies and Memories better. By the end of the story you'll know why I nearly chose that, so please tell me which name you like better ;) REVIEW!!! please... ^^;**

**Velvet**

Tamaki sat at the grand piano, gently running his fingers over the ebony and ivory keys and listening to the gentle notes they made. The beautiful sound filled the large, dark room – it was a joyful, innocent piece, full of cheer. Tamaki leaned back and closed his eyes, pretending he was in another time, another place...

***

"_Mummy, mummy!! Look at me, look! I can play piano!" The small, blonde boy, no more than a toddler, turned his face to his mother, and she could see that it was glowing with pride._

_She gently chuckled, cupping one hand on his cheek. "I love piano, sweetie."_

_Tamaki beamed up at his mother, then continued to tunelessly bash his hands along the small, toy piano. "Well, I can play it _very_ good!!"_

"_So you can. Maybe you'd like lessons, though, just to get even better?"_

_Tamaki's impossibly powerful smile widened further, and he finally stopped playing only to wrap his hands around his mother's thin, frail waist._

"_Yeah, mummy! Then my music can make you..." Tamaki spread his hands wide, "All... better!!" He brought them together in a joyful clap, causing his mother to chuckle lightly, and then cough._

"_Definitely. It can be our special music. Come on hun, time for bed now."_

_Tamaki felt her soft, warm hands gently pick him up, and he yawned lightly, leaning into the crook of her neck with no resistance._

_She giggled again, and before Tamaki drifted off, he heard her whisper, __**"You make me happy."**_

***

Tamaki felt a single tear drip down his cheek, but he ignored it, continuing to play instead. The music shifted- it wasn't so joyful now, but it wasn't sad, either. The tune was kind of... questioning. But still optimistic, and the innocence remained. Tamaki closed his eyes once more, trying desperately to forget where he was.

***

"_Come on, just a few more steps, you can make it mum..." The purple eyed child spoke boisterously, a large smile on his face._

_Tamaki slowly guided his mother to the soft, green couch- a couch filled with patches and holes, yet still the most comfortable piece of furniture Tamaki knew. It was well worn, like most of the things they owned – but it was worn with love._

"_Tama-chan, what are you playing today? One of the pieces I gave you?"_

_Tamaki shook his head. "No, I wrote this one for you, mother." Just a boy, Tamaki had been able to compose and play his own pieces for some time – but he'd kept it secret until now._

"_You... you wrote a song for me?"_

"_Actually..." Tamaki blushed, and then continued, "I wrote 3."_

_She smiled brightly, and for a moment it appeared as though all traces of her illness had disappeared. _

"_Well then, play me one."_

"_...Which one should I pick?"_

"_Which one do you like the best?" _

_Tamaki screwed up his face in concentration, then let out a large, exasperated gasp, throwing his arms in the air. "I don't know!! I mean, the first one's really pretty, and the second one is really emotional, and the third... the thirds kinda sad."_

_She tipped her head to the side questioningly. "Do they have a story, Tama?"_

_He jumped up and down gleefully, piano forgotten in his haste to tell her his inspiration."See, the first one, it was the first song I ever wrote, and I was so happy while I was writing it, because I couldn't wait to show it to you!" _

_Tamaki loved impressing his mother. His sole goal in life was to make her happy. And after she had first told him when he was a child that he made her happy, he had linked it too the piano. So of course, after that, he had wanted desperately to learn to play for her, so that her spirits were lifted, especially during the worst bouts of her illness._

_What Tamaki didn't know, was that he made her happy no matter what he did._

"_Okay, sweetie, what about the second?"_

"_...Well..." Tamaki looked kind of embarrassed, and he took a deep breath before speaking, hands fidgeting with the cloth of his t-shirt. "That one... I wrote after we had that big talk about father. About how he had to leave because his family wouldn't let you be together, about how he still loves me and you, and about how you kept me, even though you both weren't expecting me. I was kind of... well, not sad, really..." Tamaki fumbled for the words, and she gave him an encouraging smile._

_He beamed back. "I was still happy! But I felt like I understood more. I wished Daddy could be with us, but I knew he loved me .I felt... calm."_

_When Tamaki finished, he nodded his head once, as if agreeing with what he had just said, causing his mother to giggle. "Continue dear. The third song?"_

"_That one... I... well, it's different. I felt so upset mummy, when you...when-" Much to her surprise, Tamaki burst into tears. Yes, he was an emotional child, very energetic and loud, but he didn't just burst into tears every day. Well... not so suddenly, anyway._

"_Tama, what is it? Are you okay?" She made to get off the couch, and Tamaki jumped up, a horrified expression on his face. _

"_No! Stay sitting down, I'm fine mummy!" He ran over and sat next to her, burying his head in her stomach, crying gently._

_She stroked his soft, golden hair slowly, and then leaned down to kiss his the top of his head. "Tell me of the third song. Please."_

_Tamaki sniffled and wiped his eyes. When he looked up and saw his mother kindly smiling at him, he felt as though he had been given a little more courage, at least, enough to tell her._

"_O-oh mummy... I was upset. And mad. I... I was sad that you were sick all the time, then I got frightened that you would leave me, and then I ha- I didn't ever hate! I promise! I never hated you! But I was so mad... But I didn't want to tell you, so I wrote a song. And... I felt better. Like all the sadness just went..." Tamaki looked at a loss for a moment, then a spark of realization appeared behind his violet eyes. "It just went... POOF!"_

_Tamaki settled back into the couch, smiling, then the realization of what he had just told his mother sunk in. "Mummy! I'm so s- mummy?"_

_She had burst out laughing, pulling Tamaki onto her lap and squeezing him with all the strength she could muster. "Such a mature boy!" she smiled. "Writing songs to express yourself, calmly explaining your feelings to me..." _

_Tamaki sighed and hugged his mother tightly, just glad she didn't hate him. As he jumped up and ran to the piano, ready to play her the 3 songs, he heard her gently whisper, __**"You make me proud."**_

***

This time several tears oozed their way down Tamaki's slender cheekbones, and the mood of the music shifted once more. This time, the tune was harsh, angry, and at times, heartbreakingly miserable. Tamaki listened to the third song reverberate around the room, this time pretending that the events he recalled had never happened...

***

_Tamaki stood gently sobbing in his room, staring at his reflection, trying to find someone stronger than himself, someone who could deal with this pain. But no savior came to help him, no prince charming took his place, and he dejectedly wiped away the painful tears. Taking a deep, long breath, the teen tried to look calm. He wouldn't let his mother see him like this._

_The time had come. His father and grandmother were taking him out of France, to live in Japan. He was the heir to a company, he'd attend a private school and live in the finest accommodations- but he wasn't allowed to see her. His beautiful, kind mother. He knew it was for the best, and he knew that because he'd agreed, she would receive fine medical care – just what she needed- but it still hurt. He'd never lived a day without his mother, and now, he was looking at years._

_Walking out of the now empty room (his things were all packed into two medium-sized suitcases), Tamaki plastered a smile on his face. It didn't reach his cold, desolate eyes. He stepped outside the house to join his mother at the small, white picket fence that surrounded their country home._

"_Mother, I'm ready." Before Tamaki could react, his mother flung herself into his arms, shoulders shaking as tears poured down her face, the sobs wracking her weak, thin frame._

_For a moment, Tamaki just stood there in shock, then he gently wrapped his arms around his mother, holding back the tears that wanted to come pouring out. Leaning down – for he was now slightly taller than his mother – he sat his head gently on top of hers, inhaling her scent, like he had done as a child, so long ago. He closed his eyes and focused on the moment, determined to remember this parting- his last moment with her for who knew how long- for the rest of his life. And he would._

_Unfortunately, he would also remember gently prying her arms from around him. He would remember staring into her tear-filled eyed and seeing the hurt there, the hurt he caused. He would remember her trying to muster a smile as he took a few tentative steps back, hands on her shoulders. He would remember walking away from her, towards the sleek, black sedan that awaited him. He would remember looking back, one last time- at the home he knew, loved and grew up in – and seeing only her, a handkerchief held over her mouth and nose to disguise her pain._

_And he would remember hearing her whisper in a tiny, despair filled voice that she thought he couldn't hear- __**"You make me hurt."**_

***

This time, Tamaki didn't hold back, crying so hard that he couldn't breath, choking on his on saliva and removing his hands from the keys to wrap them firmly around himself – pretending it was her.

The three songs had been played, the memories flowing back with the melodies, and, as always, Tamaki was a mess. He didn't know why he did this to himself – he supposed it was the only way he could bring her back to him. With the secret music they shared, he was able to pretend, even just for a little while, that things were all right. But they weren't.

Happy.

Proud.

Hurt.

Tamaki cried out, letting the tears fall. He didn't care who heard, he just had to rid himself of this emotion. Eventually, the torrent subsided, and Tamaki slid off the piano stool, resting his head against the keys.

When his forehead tapped the ivory, two single notes rang through the room, high and clear. It was then that a thought struck Tamaki. Yes, he had left. Yes, he'd hurt her. _But_ he'd done it for her sake, and she knew that. Surely she did... surely...

"_You make me hurt...I love you."_

Tamaki began to cry once more, but this time, it was silent. She never hated him. He knew that now. Tamaki stood up and pulled the stool back to the piano. It wasn't over, she still loved him. And one day, he _would_ come back again, to see her healthier and happier than ever, because of the sacrifice _he_ made. And when he did come back, she would need a new song. One that would symbolize their love, their understanding, and their reunion. Happy. Proud. Hurt. Tamaki placed his hands carefully over the keys.

And he began to play.

*****

**I hope you liked it! A quick shout out to unnecessary hatred necessary love– thanks for answering my questions and giving me a small boost of confidence ;)**

**xxVelvet**


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